Tuesday, May 31, 2011

2011 B1G schedule analysis - Nebraska

Games in which Nebraska will be a heavy favorite:
Tennessee-Chattanooga
Fresno State
Washington
@Wyoming
@Minnesota
Northwestern

Games in which Nebraska will be a heavy underdog:
none

Favorable match up games:
Ohio State
Michigan State
@Michigan
Iowa

Unfavorable match up games:
@Wisconsin
@Penn State

Analysis:
The Huskers will have to take advantage of a B1G conference that is really down at the top.  Michigan, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Penn State and Iowa will all be rebuilding in 2011.  Only Michigan State looks like it will be better than it is traditionally.  If Michigan State is the best team  in the conference on paper, that says two things, 1.) The Big Ten is really down, and 2.) Nebraska has a real shot to be in the mix for a title in year one.  The Huskers get the Spartans at home, so the schedule sets up beautifully for Big Red. The Huskers most difficult games are @ Camp Randall in Madison against a Wisconsin team that will be breaking in a new quarterback and lost a lot of key personnel on the defensive side of the ball, and in Happy Valley against a Penn State team that doesn't know who it's quarterback is going to be. 

If Taylor Martinez can stay healthy, I see Nebraska winning 10-12 games, but that is a big "if".  At the end of the day I see Nebraska struggling to get over the hump and falling just shy of a Legends division title with 10 wins.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Jim Tressel mock resignation letter

Dear Gene:

After careful consideration I have decided it is in my best interest to tell you to take this fucking job and shove it up your keister.  Look did you really think that I was this conservative, religious, sweater vest wearing disciplinarian?!  Dude, have you seen my track record?  Just take a look at what happened at Youngstown State in 1985 - present.  The same shit has been happening under my watch from 85 at Youngstown until now in lovely ole' C-Bus, Ohio with the Buckeyes.   I play dumb while boosters hand out cash, dealerships give away cars, and tattoo parlors ink my best players for signed memorabilia.  Heck, I join them at the tattoo parlor.  They have some really good weed there!  I just love getting stoned to the bejeezus with my players while playing PS2.  By the way... I just kicked the piss out of Pryor last week in Madden 11.


I suppose I owe you an explanation for the sweater vest outfit.  Well, you see, I wear it to cover up the tatts on my upper chest, some of which extend to my neck.  That's the beauty of the sweater vest, no one has a clue the crazy tatts I'm sporting.  I tell you what when you smoke the ganja I've smoked... you wouldn't  believe some of the tatts you get.  Holy Christ do I have some effed up ink on me.  When you hang out in tattoo parlors on a semi-daily basis bad things tend to happen.  Like drinking too much Hennessy and smoking too much marijuana. 

I am actually thinking about opening my own tattoo parlor.  What do you think of the name Sweater Vest Ink?  How about Fools Ink?  Or what about 3 Yards and a Cloud of Ink?  My dream job is too smoke dope, drink, play PS2, and ink top college football players for signed memorabilia.  I am thinking about opening it in Boise, Idaho.  Chris Peterson seems like a cool dude, I could see him sending players my way.  And what the fuck else are you going to do in Boise, ID anyway?  Those kids would love to get stoned with the sweater vest and play some PS2 while getting great tattoos at the same time.  I think that could be a lucrative business, don't you think?  I mean why should all the tattoo parlors in Columbus have all the fun.  I am going to open up my own now.

As far as the lying is concerned, well... I'm sorry, but what did you want me to do?  I was stoned 1/2 the time you asked me if we committed any violations.  Heck, some times I thought you asked me if we had committed any OSHA violations and I always thought the janitorial staff did a nice job cleaning the locker rooms.   Plus, do you have any idea how many football games I won for "The" Ohio State University?  I went 9-1 against Michigan, played in three National Titles, winning one of them, and won the Big Ten just about every year.  I had a winning percentage over .800.  Michigan's AD Dave Brandon would give his left testicle to have me coach his team and plead ignorance over a few kids driving cars that don't belong to them, accepting cash, and getting free tattoos in exchange for some autographs.  Even if he had to fire me, it would have saved him the disgrace of hiring that clown from West Virginia, Rodriguez.  Oh speaking of West Virginia, Dana Holgerson and I are going to hit a few casinos in Vegas.  I'm pretty sure that's the only city on earth that can withstand Hurricane Dana.  Holy balls can that SOB party!  By the way, I really lost a lot of respect for the state of West Virgina, what a bunch of pussies.  So Dana likes to drink and gamble, big deal.  In a perfect world West Virginia will fire Dana and Chris Peterson will take over for me in Columbus, then Dana would take over at Boise and I could open my tattoo parlor.  Holy balls we would fucking own that town!  Can you contact Peterson's agent?  I want to live the dream man!


Peace,

Jimbo

Friday, May 27, 2011

B1G schedule analysis - Illinois

Games in which Illinois will be heavy favorites:
Arkansas State
South Dakota State
Western Michigan
 
Games in which Illinois will be heavy underdogs:
Ohio State
@Penn State
Wisconsin
 
Favorable matchup games:
Arizona State
Northwestern
@Indiana
Michigan
 
Unfavorable matchup games:
@Purdue
@Minnesota
 
Summary:
I like Illinois as a possible sleeper team this year based upon their schedule, which is very favorable.  Most of their matchup games are at home and their non-conference schedule should produce a 4-0 record unless they slip up at home against a very comparable Arizona State team. 
 
However, the B1G is very balanced this year so I could just as easily see Illinois losing a majority of their favorable matchup games as I could see them winning most.  I am very skeptical of the Illini based upon their history the last 20 years (they haven’t put together back to back winning seasons since 1990-91).  They also lost a lot of talent especially on the defensive side of the ball with the departures of: DT Corey Liuget, MLB Martez Wilson, and DE Clay Nurse.  Offensively they lost workhorse tailback Mikel Leshoure, and will have to depend almost entirely on Sophomore QB Nathan Sheelhaase in 2011.  Having to depend on Scheelhaase makes me very nervous for two reasons: first of all he was wildly inconsistent last year, secondly he needs to stay healthy and without Leshoure and much weaponry at WR/TE he could be running even more than 2010, making his health and durability a serious concern.  I also don’t trust Ron Zook as a head coach, he is clearly a good recruiter, but I just haven’t seen consistency out of Zook’s teams, ditto the Illinois program in general.
 
After it’s all said and done expect the Illini to have a roller coaster season that will leave them just shy of bowl eligibility with five wins.
 
 

 
 

Thursday, May 26, 2011

B1G schedule breakdown - Minnesota

I will be going through the schedules for every B1G team.  I will be breaking down each teams schedule under the following categories: games in which the team will be heavy favorites, games in which the team will be heavy underdogs, favorable matchup games, and unfavorable matchup games.  Using these categories I will predict a total number of victories.  Today we start with Minnesota.

Games in which Minnesota will be heavy favorites:
New Mexico State
North Dakota State

Games in which Minnesota will be heavy underdogs:
@USC
Nebraska
@Michigan State
Wisconsin

Favorable matchup games for Minnesota:
Miami (Ohio)
Illinois

Unfavorable matchup games for Minnesota:
@Michigan
@Purdue
Iowa
@Northwestern

Summary:
Since Tim Brewster is no longer coaching the Gophers they “should” be able to handle a team from the Dakota’s without too much trouble.  With that being said the non conference schedule is not a walk in the park.  The Gophers have to open the season in the Coliseum against USC, which is still no easy task, sanctions or no sanctions.  Lane Kiffin has managed back to back Top 5 recruiting classes despite severe NCAA penalties, which have resulted in losses of scholarships, and 2 years of Bowl ineligibility.  Led by QB Matt Barkley the Trojans will provide an almost impossible test for Minnesota to pass in the debut.  Miami (Ohio) won’t be easy either, they won the MAC last year, beating the Jerry Kill led Northern Illinois Huskies in the MAC championship game.  The RedHawks will be led by former Michigan State assistant Don Treadwell, who guided the Spartans while Head Coach Mark Dantonio was away from the sidelines due to an illness.  

The B1G schedule will be tricky for the Gophers because most of their match up games are on the road.  Minnesota only has one game on their B1G schedule in which they look like the favorite (Illinois @ TCF Bank Stadium), and even that is arguable.

I think Jerry Kill will guide the Gophers to one or maybe even two upset victories, but in the end the Gophers will fall just shy of bowl eligibility with five wins.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Killing It

When Jerry Kill was hired by University of Minnesota Athletics Director Joel Maturi in December to be the next Head Coach of the Golden Gophers it was met with both confusion and outrage by the media and Gopher fans alike.   Here are some of the quotes, which were being echoed across the state of Minnesota. “I feel like the ugly kid in High School who had to take his sister to prom.”  “A MAC head coach hired by a MAC AD.”  “We hired the coach from Northern Illinois!”  “Who the bleep is Jerry Kill?”  “What happened to that Tubby Smith type of hire Joel?”  The overwhelming majority of Gopher fans were either confused or angered by the hire.  There were even rumors circulating about Chris Peterson from Boise State being a possibility a day before the hiring of Kill was announced.  Of course there was absolutely zero concrete evidence regarding Peterson being interested; most of the noise was coming from Gopher blogs and twitter, by goofball fans such as me with absolutely no sources.  So we were left with Jerry Kill and anger and outrage ensued…. For about 20 hours.  Jerry Kill had his press conference less than 24 hours after his hiring was announced.  After his charming, honest, meat and potatoes press conference, which was even filled with a few good one liners, “stroke the post” Jerry Kill was officially embraced by both the media and hardcore Gopher fans.

Kill was only loathed for about 20 hours.  He even made jokes about not being his wife’s first choice.  He told a room of reporters how he understood fan frustration after going 50 years without a Rose Bowl appearance and losing to teams like North Dakota State and South Dakota.  He struck a chord with the Gopher faithful, even as obvious as it was.  He spoke about needing all of Minnesota to get behind the football team, to be patient, to not be negative, yet he was realistic.  He spoke about how it was going to take hard work and discipline to turn the program around and it wasn’t going to happen overnight.  He spoke about the need to increase speed and athleticism and it was going to be a work in progress. 

After the spring game was over Kill held a press conference and his opinions of the team weren’t grandiose.   He was the anti-Brewster and it showed.  Kill said he was concerned about depth, lack of speed, poor work ethic, and discipline.  He told reporters that his team needed to work their butts off in the offseason with strength and conditioning coach Eric Klein.  He was hesitant to hand out bouquets to any individual player or units.  Only saying that QB MarQueis Gray learned his offense faster than expected and showed “improvement” over the course of the spring, but didn’t anoint him the starter.  He also spoke about how he thought the defensive line was awful at the start of the spring, but they too showed “improvement”. 

Kill has yet to win a Big Ten game, or for that matter even coach one for the Gophers, but he has won over the media and the fans, something that hasn’t been done since Lou Holtz bolted for Notre Dame in the mid 80’s.  He will be traveling throughout the state this summer for speaking engagements and meeting fans.  He has already established a strong relationship with the High School coaches in the state.  Kill has already secured commitments from three of the top recruits in the state: Andre McDonald of Hopkins, Philip Nelson of Mankato West, and Max Williams of Waconia, all before Memorial Day.  Apathy for the Minnesota football program went from an all time high after his hiring was announced in December to a casual rooting interest as I write in May all because of Kill and his no-nonsense work horse attitude.  He has come across as honest, polite, witty, and charming while tempering expectations.  His honesty has even Kool-Aid drinking Gopher fans predicting 4 or 5 wins in year 1, while doing it with a smile on their faces.  I haven’t heard one person that has anything bad to say about Kill or the Gopher football program in the last 5 months.  Even snarky and condescending media types such as: Dan Barreiro, Patrick Reusse, and Jim Souhan have taken a liking to the new coach.  Not one viscous column or radio rant.  Brewster was barbequed after his first press conference promising Rose Bowls and talking about “Gopher Nation”.  Kill already has a leg up on his predecessor.  He has lowered expectations to a low not seen since the days of Jim Wacker, but the funny thing is everyone is fine with it.  What Gopher fans are looking for is: discipline, work ethic, intelligence, and improvement on the field and everyone feels good about Kill producing all of the above.  The Gopher faithful will be okay with him going 4-8 in year 1; and if he goes 6-6 and leads them to a Bowl game fans and media alike may proclaim him as the next Murray Warmath.  Kill has played fans and media members brilliantly.  He can only meet or exceed expectations.  That is the beauty of talking about your team in an honest manner.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Post Spring Power Rankings

1. Ohio State: Don’t let the NCAA mess cloud your judgment, they are clearly the best team in the Big Ten.  Ohio State is arguably the only team in the Big Ten that can have 5 key players and their head coach suspended for the first 5 games of the season and come out of it unscathed.  Ohio State has 2nd teamers that would start at most Big Ten schools.  The Buckeyes will be just fine against the Big 10 this fall.  Now, the NCAA is another story, they might beat the stuffing out of the Buckeyes
2. Penn State: Rob Bolden and Silas Redd are poised for big seasons.  Let’s not forget that the Nittany Lions are two years removed from an elite recruiting class that could blossom this year.  The two aforementioned players were a part of said recruiting class.  Penn State has a recent history of following up a disappointing season with a very good one.  Look for the Nitts to bounce back this year.
3. Nebraska: I feel somewhat queasy putting the Cornhuskers this high.  Taylor Martinez looked like a Heisman Trophy winner the first half of the year and like William Hung in shoulder pads the second half.  He was berated on national TV by his head coach in College Station, TX on November 21st and the season spiraled downhill from there.  The D will be very good to great once again, but the key to success is no doubt with Martinez and his health.
4. Iowa: The Hawkeyes absolutely thrive when little is expected of them.  With Marcus Coker, James Vandenberg, C.J. Fiedorowicz, Keenan Davis, and a stout offensive line the Hawkeyes will boast one of the top offenses in the conference.  The D has to replace a lot with the departures of Christian Ballard, Tyler Sash, and Adrian Clayborn, but the crafty Norm Parker always seems to plug in new starts somewhere.
5. Wisconsin:  The Badgers will have a big, strong offensive line, with great depth at running back.  Ho hum, what else is new…They will be opportunistic defensively and return playmaking linebacker Chris Borland from a shoulder injury.  Wisconsin does need to replace the very serviceable Scott Tolzein, but the Badgers always seem to find scrappy quarterbacks that manage to make just enough plays to keep opposing defenses honest.
6. Michigan State: Sparty was absolutely whacked by Alabama in the Capital One Bowl, but I can’t say that came as a surprise.  I said before that game the Michigan State was the worst 11-1 team in the history of the Big Ten conference.  The Spartans have struggled in big games under Dantonio often getting blown out.  They have dominated their arch-rival Michigan lately, but who hasn’t.  The Spartans return arguably the best skill position talent offensively that the Big Ten has to offer, but their defense will once again leave something to be desired.  William Gholston will need to be a monster to prevent a horrendous secondary from getting torched.
7. Michigan: Brady Hoke and Greg Mattison have their work cut out for them on the defensive side of the ball, as the Wolverines are small and there is a lack of depth throughout, especially in the secondary.  Under center or out of the gun Denard Robinson will continue to make plays and gain yards, but the Wolverines won’t see their “breakthrough year” until 2012 or 2013.  First and foremost the Wolverines need to become more physical and tough, and that won’t come overnight.  Hoke will do everything in his power to rebuild the pride at Michigan, but it will take a while.
8. Northwestern: The Cats have a great young coach in Pat Fitzgerald and an elite signal caller in Dan Persa in a dangerous spread offense.  The Cats will live and die with the health of Dan Persa.  If Persa can stay healthy they will win 7-9 games, if he doesn’t they will miss a bowl game.  It’s as simple as that…
9. Illinois: The Illini have struggled putting together back to back winning seasons recently, in fact that haven’t done so since 90-91.  Ouch!  How is that even possible in the era of the non-conference cupcakes?!  Nathan Scheelhaase will win a couple of games with his legs and talent, but he needs help and the Illini are thin at receiver and lose workhorse tailback Mikel Leshoure.  Jason Ford is a nice complimentary piece, but he needs to stay out of trouble with the law (he was arrested on suspicion of driving with a suspended license on April 26th).  The Illini also need to replace All Big Ten tackle and first round draft choice Corey Liuget and linebacker Martez Wilson defensively.  Those are two gaping holes to fill.
10. Minnesota: If you ask Minnesota Head Coach Jerry Kill his team is slow, not very deep, unskilled, undisciplined, lazy, not very attractive…well you get the point.  Kill has made no secret out of the fact that his team reported to Spring practice out of shape and he put them through hell in 15 practices in Minneapolis.  Kill is happy with the progress his team made, but knows it has a long way to go to change the culture of a program that endured 3 ½ forgetful seasons under former head honcho Tim Brewster.  Kill has a potential game breaker in quarterback MarQueis Gray, but Gray needs to improve his accuracy as a pocket passer to be truly special.  Minnesota also lacks depth across the board.  However, Jerry Kill is one heck of a coach and if anyone can turn this program around Kill can.  It just won’t be this year.
11. Purdue:  Danny Hope is on life support in West Lafayette, but you have to feel for Hope.  He had little to no depth last year and it showed when he lost his #1 QB, RB, and WR to injury.  Hope needs to upgrade his recruiting to help with injuries, but that is tough to do when you are considered a lower echelon Big Ten program in the middle of Indiana.  The Boilermakers need everything to go right this year to have even an outside shot at a bowl game.
12. Indiana: The Hoosiers hired an offensive minded coach with zero college head coaching experience.  Congratulations you just hired the man you just fired.  Actually I take that back former coach Bill Lynch was a head coach, Wilson is a 50 year old career coordinator.  Congrats once again are in order to the school that is not only the third best program in the state of Indiana in football, but is becoming so in basketball thanks to Butler and Purdue.  Well at least they have The Rock.  Oh not The Rock, but the rock?  Never mind then…